Like me, you probably don’t like what’s happening right now. A while ago, you may have felt resigned and at a loss. Now, you’re angry and ready to fight. In order for you to feel better or validated, someone else needs to be wrong.
If this resonates with you at all, then this is what you’re probably thinking… “The situation is either black or white. My way or the highway. You’re going to have to stand down because it’s the right thing to do.”
The feelings you probably have may range from subtle annoyance to downright hostile. But any feelings you have are steeped with frustration and resentment.
As a result, you’re showing up with resistance. It may look like disobeying local mandates or maybe you’re rebelling against social pressures! Internally or out loud, you are yelling, “ACT UP! Fight…!
You’re not going to hear any judgment from me. As I have said before, considering what you’ve been through and what you’re hoping to change, it’s perfectly normal for you to feel that way. It probably serves you to act in such a manner to see some results NOW!
However, if you are physically or emotionally drained from all this negative energy, you won’t want to show up in such a way forever. When you’re ready (and it’s okay not to be right now), you may want to lead in a more collaborative or inclusive way. Consider this…
Get out of your head. Move into your heart.
Check if what you believe is true is REALLY true? A slight shift in perspective might create some empathy or compassion. “Can you be absolutely 100% sure that your experience is universal? Is every protestor a criminal? Is every cop racist? Is every mask an infringement on personal freedom?”
Take responsibility for what you’re feeling and thinking. Someone else cannot make you think angry thoughts or feel frustrated. Own what you are experiencing and recognize that you are choosing to feel that way. Not being a victim to your thoughts can be a first step to accepting change.
Identify and choose a different emotion. If anger is no longer appropriate, what would you rather feel? Forgiveness, compassion, peace, joy. While it may not be easy to get there, there is a way. Anger can be debilitating. It’s tiresome.
Move past the win-lose scenario. What would a win-win situation look like? People are more likely to compromise… or better yet, collaborate, when it’s no longer a zero-sum game.
Focus on influence instead of force. It is much more satisfying for everyone involved if each feels like they participated in a constructive and inclusive manner.
Don’t assume that what happened in the past will happen in the future. Circumstances may be different now. People have new information. Passions for change could have significant consequences. Just because failure may have happened before, doesn’t mean that success isn’t available to us now.
