In a moment I will give you eight perspectives that can help you live in the moment. But, first, why should we live in the moment?
When you are in the moment, you’re not worrying about your mise-en-place for tomorrow or regretting a guest interaction you had yesterday. If you are worried about the future or thinking about the past, you cannot be present in the here and now. Likely you have heard the phrase, “It’s not the destination, but the journey.” Consider how you and your team may enjoy the shift you’re in when you are completely engaged in the experience instead of being fixated on an uncertain outcome. Together you will see, hear, smell, taste, and feel everything that is right in front of you. You won’t miss a thing and will be able to participate at your best.
Take a moment to see when you are truly present in the moment.
When you are cooking, are you enjoying the experience or just trying to get food off the pass?
When you have a conversation with a co-worker, are you truly listening or just waiting to share your idea?
Are you enjoying each service with enthusiasm, wonder, delight, and excitement, or are you simply going through the motions?
Living in the moment allows you to appreciate the present with less stress. The anxiety-riddled emotions of regret and fear are based in the past and future, respectively. However, you don’t have the power to change the past or control the future. Stay in the present and you will have more empowerment in your experience.
If you’re thinking about the past or the future you’re not playing full out in the here and now.
Detached Involvement
To help you embrace this “presence in the moment”, imagine being an outside observer of your pre-shift meeting with your restaurant team. You can see your facial expressions, your hand gestures, and the subtle communications of your body language. As a participant, you are fully vested in the impact of the meeting AND as an observer, you are detached from the ultimate outcome. You’re okay that the conversation can go in any direction it needs to go.
Detached involvement allows you to embrace the moment, any moment, as being neither good nor bad. The detachment allows you to give yourself advice on how to act without the judgment or self-doubt that comes up when you are fully immersed. The involvement is the complete engagement in experiencing what is immediately in front of you. This seemingly contradictory relationship allows you to quickly focus on the here and now so that you can have clarity on how to be your best self.
Here are eight beliefs that can help restaurant professionals with detached involvement:
“There is something to embrace and learn from every experience, even the tough ones.” - While we wouldn’t necessarily enjoy every experience, there is always a takeaway. Having to close a business or end a relationship could also lead to newly found freedoms or lessons for the next adventure.
“NOTHING is black and white.” - The rigidity of absolutes prevents a curiosity of the gray areas. It takes a lot of energy to defend a position. Instead, be intrigued by a variety of perspectives and experiences.
“Just because it happened before, doesn’t mean it has to happen again.” - Things are bound to be exactly the same for your restaurant unless you do something differently. Don’t be passive, be actively engaged.
“I have unique talents/skills to bring.” - Even if they don’t immediately seem relevant, any contribution can result in amazing innovation. Otherwise, cookies and cream ice cream likely would have never been discovered as a likely combination.
“I don’t need to be right.” - This isn’t about being wrong, per se, but instead about listening and learning different approaches to handling the challenges the hospitality industry is experiencing right now.
“I don’t need to be in control.” - Like being on a roller coaster, some of the joy is allowing it to happen to you or around you. When you hold on too tightly, you might not appreciate the twists and turns you are about to experience. Occasionally, let go and raise your hands.
“It’s not about me.” - Don’t take it personally if/when things don’t go well. A lot of things contribute to success or “failure” (whatever that is). They just may not be as obvious.
“Whatever happens … happens!” - This is the one I embrace the most. I have fun and enjoy whatever life throws at me. It’s not always smooth, but it is always interesting. I am not a victim to it and I choose to live it.
